“My fiancee’s mother is very involved with the wedding planning process, which I personally don’t necessarily mind. But we are way over the amount of guests that we initially planned to have.
“Her mom keeps telling us that we “have to invite” certain people, including her cousins’ son whom my bride has never met. I want to tell her to let us decide on who or who not to invite, but she is paying for most of the wedding so we feel like we cant say anything. What should we do?
– Jason C.
Jason we are going to give you a piece of advice that honestly you should know already: DON’T get involved in between issues with your fianceé and your mother in law to be. Yes, it is your wedding, and you want to have control over the guest list, but that desire is trumped every time by the desire to keep the peace (or your fianecé and her family calm and happy). Yea you’re getting married, but it is “her big day”, and what will keep your future wife happy is her knowing that when the guest list is finished, in order, and there are no points of contention between you and her mother. Guess what? Your wife-to-be is still a “girl” and like all girls she sometimes has little issues with her mother, complicated little issues, but underneath those issues is respect and love. Maybe you also love your mother-in-law (LOL), well hopefully you at least respect her and the influence she has had in your wife-to-be’s life. But it is that influence that should keep you out and away of any hot button topics, let them work that out together!
Remember, you will have to deal with your mother-in-law for the rest of your life and there will be hundreds of legitimate things to argue about, baby names, holidays whether or not that shiny new coupe you bought is “child friendly”, in the grand scheme of things this issue is not worth it. As long as she’s willing to compensate for the cost of second cousin whats-his-face’s plate, we don’t see why you are taking any sort of stance whether for or against on this. In fact we suggest if you feel the need to side with anyone let it be your future mother-in-law she’ll like you all the more and trust us you’ll be able to cash in that kiss-butt equity years from now.
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